Monkey Island was meant to get a movie a few years back, but it got warped and twisted and became the Pirates of The Caribbean instead.
A little bit ironic as Monkey Island was originally loosely based on the ride at Disneyland.
It’s OK. The film would have crapped on all our childhoods anyway.
The movie was going to be computer animated in a similar way to Shrek or Toy Story, but here we’re having a look at who could play the main characters in a live action flick.
The star of the show. The bumbling hero who goes from scrawny pirate wannabe to scrawny pirate hero.
I would like to avoid using PoTC actors in this, but there is one who suits the part quite nicely.
Mackenzie Crook or Michael Cera or Macaulay Culkin
The beautiful red haired feisty love interest. In many ways she’s more of a hero than Guybrush. This one is really tough to cast! An English rose with an appetite for adventure.
Michelle Ryan or Michelle Dockery or Eliza Dushku
The undead villain. Ghost, zombie, demon, whatever form he’s in, he’s big and dangerous. The most terrifying scallywag on the seven seas.
Brian Blessed or Tim Curry
One thing I really think the special edition remakes got wrong was the characterisation of Largo LaGrande. Let’s see them get it right a second time round.
The Obi Wan to Guybrush’s Luke, she’s the mystical guide who helps the hero fulfill his destiny.
Whoopi Goldberg or Regina Taylor
Crazy hermit stranded on an island who also serves as a bit of a mentor to Threepwood. Tom Hanks could do his castaway thing again, but I’d like to see this guy give it a go.
The fast talking salesman is a tough one to cast but there are three potentials who could do an amazing job.
Bruce Campbell or Jim Carrey or Patrick Warburton
A little ginger guy who likes the quiet life. A nerd who secretly wishes to be a mighty adventurer too.
Seth Green or Simon Pegg or Michael J. Fox
Men of Low Moral Fibre
These guys need to make an appearance. They haven’t since LeChuck’s Revenge, but they’re such a well loved bunch of liars.
Hank Azaria as Frank, Kyle Gass as Fred and Paul Rudd as Fin
If he’s a skull, then obviously it’ll be a CGI or puppet so keep the original Denny Delk. If not, then perhaps..?
Cocky, brash and a master of the sword.
The Sword Master of Mêlée Island.
Jada Pinkett Smith or Gina Torres
The habitual thief and mutinous crewman.
Steve Buscemi or Sacha Baron Cohen
Muscle bound hotel owner and artist Meathook is someone that Guybrush has twice gone to in the hope he would join his crew.
Ron Perlman or Eric Allan Kramer
The smuggler crime lord who was almost a match for even LeChuck.
Samuel L. Jackson
Monkey Island’s native man eaters.
Will Smith as Red Skull, Richard Ayoade as Sharptooth and Stephen K Amos as Lemonhead
Threepwood’s superfan. I’m not sure she would have a role in the movie, but if she did this girl could do a great job.
One of the friendliest (and most superstitious) guys in the Caribbean.
Again, most likely a CGI job, but this cameo would be wonderful.